To Each His (or her) Own

Proverbs 22: 6 says

Start children off on the way they should go, and even when they are old they will not turn from it.

This is an extremely important verse for parents, especially when you dig in to the original language and unpack what “the way they should go” means. This verse is often taken to imply an objective truth, and “the way” is taken as being universal, always the same, and applicable to every child. The word “they” though, is also extremely important. If we also take into account Psalm 139:14  “I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made,” we understand that each of us is unique, created by God to do specific works created for us to usher in his kingdom. It is sometimes hard for parents to grasp that they have work to do to understand who God has created their children to be. “The way they should go” is as unique as their fingerprints, and it is a parent’s job to discover this so that they can better love their offspring and help to “start them off” on the path God has prepared.

The same holds true for adults! We were all once those children, fearfully and wonderfully made, with kingdom work that we were uniquely created to do. As individuals, we each have our own ways of doing things, whether that be God’s work, our jobs - or housework. It is important when we are married to be cognizant that our spouses will do things differently than we will. If we are inflexible in our views on how tasks should be accomplished we might criticize them for not doing things the way we would. If we make a habit of this our spouse may be resentful, and may become less willing to voluntarily pitch in and try to help. This can eventually lead to contempt (in both parties) if not called out and discussed, and an understanding reached.

With life being so busy, it is imperative that both spouses are working towards common goals, each doing their part to keep their family functioning, and their household running smoothly. If one party starts nitpicking the other about how things get done, it hurts them and the marriage.
The biblical imperative is clear: 1 Thessalonians 5:11 says “Therefore encourage one another and build each other up.”  Be happy that they are helping, be grateful and encouraging, and they will be more willing to continue to find ways to pitch in. A finished task is a beautiful thing!