Monday, December 11, 2017

Courage I: Prevent

John Maxwell, when commenting on Paul’s mentorship of Timothy, talks about courage being an essential quality in leadership. He defines courage as the process of taking a stand. Courage is what allows you to do what is right in tough situations, even when no one stands with you, even when the right thing isn’t popular, and especially when the right thing isn’t easy. As he breaks down 2 Timothy 2 and 3, he notes five points within a mission or purpose that leaders can derive their courage from. I think these same five points apply to marriages, and from them we too can muster up the courage to take a stand when things are tough, or uncomfortable, or even when things are leaning towards hopelessness. From these we can draw strength to fight for our nuptial unions. The five points are:

There is something to prevent. There are some things to pursue. There are some things to portray. There are some things to perceive. There is something to pronounce.

Let’s look at the first of these. (next four coming in following months) In marriage there are of course things to prevent. In fact, marriage itself is described in scripture as something God designed to prevent us from being tempted by sexual impurity. In 1 Corinthians 7:9 Paul writes:

If they do not have self-control, let them marry; for it is better to marry than to burn with passion.

Too often marriage is taken for granted as one spouse or the other succumbs to the temptation of other people, “greener grass” on the other side of the fence. However, as Neil Barringham (or Irma Bombeck, depending on your source material) famously said “The grass is greener where you water it.” It always seems easier to give up and start over than to do the work required to make what we already have into what God meant it to be. We need to be mindful once we have spoken wedding vows to see our spouse, and only our spouse, as our outlet for the passions, yearnings and energy that God has built into us. We need to never stop seeking to connect with our spouse. We need to come together often to nurture all forms of intimacy. In that closeness, that connection that we forge through regular contact our marriages are strengthened and our love for one another deepens. 

Paul knew this. He also knew it is in our nature to lose sight of the goal, to drift, to get distracted. This is why he wrote in 1 Corinthians 7:5

Do not deprive each other except perhaps by mutual consent and for a time, so that you may devote yourselves to prayer. Then come together again so that Satan will not tempt you because of your lack of self-control.

To prevent a withered, dry, brown lawn, you water your grass. To prevent falling into temptation, to prevent sexual sin, to prevent shattered homes and broken families, look only to your spouse as your outlet to express the love and passion within you. As it says in Proverbs 5:18-19

May your fountain be blessed,
    and may you rejoice in the wife of your youth.
A loving doe, a graceful deer—
    may her breasts satisfy you always,
    may you ever be intoxicated with her love.