Throughout the last year of this pandemic, even more so in the early stages, people were stuck in their homes and needed to find ways to pass the time. Many turned to an old stand-by: jigsaw puzzles. Puzzles have long been a mainstay at the shore for vacationers as a way to get through rainy days when the beaches and boardwalks were not available – or at least, wouldn’t be very pleasant. Puzzles can be worked on alone or in groups, and while challenging can give a real sense of accomplishment when the end is reached, the last piece snapped into place and the image is complete.
In a recent series on his daily leadership vlog, Darren Hardy drew parallels between various strategies to address the challenges of puzzles as also being effective ways to conquer the difficulties of succeeding at business, and indeed at life. Could these same themes also apply to succeeding at marriage? Can we find scripture to back up this theory?
Point of View
The border is set, and we have chosen a piece to find a place for or a void to find a piece for - we have chosen one issue to work on until it is resolved, and we have resolved it carefully and thoughtfully, not forcing a piece to fit where it doesn’t belong! Sometimes though, the puzzle is far from finished - and we feel we have exhausted our options.
When this happens, it is often extremely helpful to change our perspective and look at things from a different angle. With an actual puzzle this can be accomplished as easily as walking to the other side of the table to look at things upside down, or standing on a chair to view the work in progress from on high. In life, and in marriage it may be a more involved undertaking to change our point of view, but it is no less valuable. Obi Wan Kenobi, while explaining things to young Luke Skywalker in Star Wars: The Empire Strikes Back says “you're going to find that many of the truths we cling to depend greatly on our own point of view.” Some of those “truths” are not actually true, but a product of our experiences, our preconceptions or a lack of knowledge or understanding. It is for this reason that Robin Williams’ character in Dead Poet’s Society, English teacher John Keating, stands on a chair in class and tells his students it is “to remind myself that we must constantly look at things in a different way.”
It is very easy as we go through life - especially married life - to get so caught up in the minutia of our busyness and lose sight of the bigger picture, or to assume we have all the necessary information to assess a situation when in fact, we do not. It can be as easy as stopping and asking our spouse if what we are thinking is correct! Many interviewers will tell you that the “trick” to what they do comes down to simply asking good questions. As in every marriage-related situation, communication is key to maintaining peace and fostering understanding and unity.
If that is not enough, it may require questioning yourself to determine what point of view you are seeing the issue from. What is hindering you from a more complete understanding? What biases are clouding a clearer view? Is it just that you are seeing things from a worldly perspective, and not a heavenly one? Paul’s epistles warn us about this multiple times. Colossians 3:2 says
Set your minds on things that are above, not on things that are on earth.
and 2 Corinthians 5:16 reads
So from now on we regard no one from a worldly point of view.
Strive to put yourself in your spouse’s shoes, to see things from their side of an issue, but also, always, seek to align yourself with the heart and mind of God through prayer and devotion to His word.
(no chair needed)
