“It’s the little things” is a saying that is bandied about quite a bit, but that is because it’s true! Jesus knew this well, and not only used a parable about it to describe the kingdom of heaven, but also used the principle to carry out his ministry. In Matthew 13:31-32 it says
He told them another parable: “The kingdom of heaven is like a mustard seed, which a man took and planted in his field. Though it is the smallest of all seeds, yet when it grows, it is the largest of garden plants and becomes a tree, so that the birds come and perch in its branches.”
He knew that small things can have a huge impact. Later in the same book he tells his disciples “if you have faith as small as a mustard seed, you can say to this mountain, ‘Move from here to there,’ and it will move. Nothing will be impossible for you.” (Matthew 17:20)
In his ministry, he taught in the synagogues, and preached to large crowds, but he called together only twelve to go deep with, that they could establish his church after his death and ascension. Even among the twelve, he separated them into smaller groups. IN Mark 6:7 it says
Calling the Twelve to him, he began to send them out two by two and gave them authority over impure spirits.
Darren Hardy, a leadership author and Success magazine editor says it this way: “The accomplishment of any goal is the compound effect of small steps taken consistently over time.” In marriage, is your goal to have a union that gives joy, that honors God and provides a picture of his love for the world to others? If not, WHY NOT? But if so, what small steps could you be taking consistently over time? Things as small as making the coffee or tea in the morning so your spouse doesn’t have to, putting the kids to bed so they can relax after a hard day, or calling to order a pizza because you know they don’t like making phone calls can make a big difference. Obviously there are as many meaningful “small things” as there are people. Taking the time to know your spouse is never time wasted if you then act on the knowledge gleaned.
People often make the mistake of thinking what’s needed is a huge effort, a grand gesture, some over-the-top display of their love and affection. Sometimes those are nice, but they are not sustainable, and their effect is limited. In geometry a point is just a point, but two points define a line, stretching infinitely in two directions. Three points though, define a plane - infinite in all directions. Each point, seemingly inconsequential alone, exponentially expands what is defined when added to the set.
If you’re not sure what your spouse’s little things are, you could always just ask. “What could I do to make your day easier? What do you need help with? How can I love you better?” Ask often! The situations of our lives change with time… never assume you know all there is to know! We all know the lessons about compound interest when it comes to monetary investment. Consider doing little things for your spouse investments in the awesome marriage you want to have.
