What if the state of our marriage directly affected the effectiveness of our prayers? The apostle Paul writes in 1 Peter 3:7
Husbands, in the same way be considerate as you live with your wives, and treat them with respect as the weaker partner and as heirs with you of the gracious gift of life, so that nothing will hinder your prayers.
As Gary Thomas tells married men in Sacred Marriage “He [Paul] is directly connecting our attitude towards and treatment of our wives with the fundamental Christian discipline of prayer. When we got married, a condition was put on our prayer lives, and that condition is tied directly to how we view and treat our wives.” This verse focuses on men, but the sentiment goes for women as well. This invalidates any and all excuses to avoid working on your marriage; your prayer life depends on it! Of course, there are many facets, many types of intimacy that make up married life and all are important for the overall health of the relationship. If any one of them is lacking, it can affect the rest of them - and your life outside of marriage
In 1 Corinthians 7:5 Paul again links prayer and the marriage relationship - specifically to the physical component.
Do not deprive each other except perhaps by mutual consent and for a time, so that you may devote yourselves to prayer. Then come together again so that Satan will not tempt you because of your lack of self-control.
According to Paul here, for married couples sex comes first and foremost. Then prayer... and then more sex! The inference is that if either or both spouses is feeling deprived, then Satan has a foothold into their life and prayer suffers. God puts a premium value on relationships. In fact, to Him our relationships with each other are the most important thing! Read Christ’s words in Matthew 5:23-24
Therefore, if you are offering your gift at the altar and there remember that your brother or sister has something against you, leave your gift there in front of the altar. First go and be reconciled to them; then come and offer your gift.
Jesus is saying that God doesn’t want your sacrifice if there is a relationship in your life that isn’t right. Marriage is the most important earthly relationship, therefore it needs to be set right first, before we offer our gifts, our prayers or ourselves to God.
For married people, marriage is the foundation of everything else in their life. It is home base from whence you go forth into the world. When it is going well, both spouses are nigh invincible! But if the marriage is hurting, it drastically affects how effective the rest of your life is. It can hinder your work, put a damper on other relationships and negatively impact your mission and ministry efforts. More so, as married people we must consider our marriage as a large part of our ministry. If we choose to be married then caring for that union is an integral part of our kingdom work. How we ‘do’ marriage is vital in giving our lives a solid platform from which to operate AND in providing a picture to the world of God’s love for creation. If things in your marriage are not what you want them to be, pray for God’s help of course. But then take action! Pray that God would show you what you can do to improve the situation, what actions you can take to make things better. Doing so will increase the impact that you, through your efforts - and your prayers - can make on the world, doing your part to usher in God’s kingdom.
