Incoming new members to our congregation pledge to support our church through their prayers, their presence, their gifts, and their service. What if we made that our mantra for our marriages as well? What would it mean to how we do marriage to pledge to support it in these four areas? More personally what could it mean if we vowed to bless our spouse in these ways?
James 5:16 - Confess your sins to one another, and pray for one another so you may be healed.
How often do you pray for your spouse?
Whether out loud to them or silently when they are away, praying for God’s blessings for the person we’ve chosen to spend our life with is important for multiple reasons. To know what to pray for, we need to be aware of what is going on in their lives. Are they dreading a day at work this week? Do they have an important meeting with a boss or client, or a performance review coming up. Is a coworker going on vacation leaving extra work that someone else will have to do? Is a friend of theirs sick, or struggling with a relationship and leaning on them for counsel? Have they suffered a setback working towards a long time dream, or are they having a crisis of faith or identity? Staying tuned in to what your spouse is going through day in and day out not only helps you pray for them with purpose, but it keeps you involved, keeps you connected, and keeps you learning about them. The human heart is infinitely complex, and each one takes a lifetime to learn. This level of connection also helps you to love your spouse the way they need you too. Sometimes we don’t know what is bothering our partner, but even then we should pray. God knows all their situation and their heart, and the Spirit intercedes for us when necessary.
Romans 8:26 - In the same way, the Spirit helps us in our weakness. We do not know what we ought to pray for, but the Spirit himself intercedes for us through wordless groans.
It is also important to pray WITH our spouse, uniting in prayer for the good of our marriage. We are exhorted throughout scripture to pray without ceasing, in all circumstances, bringing all requests to God with thanksgiving. Praying together means being vulnerable, opening up to one another, and that transparency aids in honest communication and builds trust. Jesus promises to be wherever two or more are gathered in his name (Matthew 18:20) so to have him present in your marriage, come together in his name. Pray for your concerns, give them to God, and thank him often - and out loud - for the gifts he has given you, including each other! To hear someone voice their appreciation for you is powerful, especially when they are telling a third party (in this case, God) It lends weight to the feeling of gratitude they express, makes it even stronger.
Paul even points out that prayer is the only reason to take a break from physical intimacy.
1 Corinthians 7:5 - Do not deprive each other except perhaps by mutual consent and for a time, so that you may devote yourselves to prayer. (Then come together again so that Satan will not tempt you)
Think this month about how you can support your marriage, and bless your spouse, through prayer.
