Monday, March 11, 2013


Have you ever failed at something? If you answered no, you ARE human, right? If so, I suspect you might be lying. More specifically, have you ever failed at something in your marriage? I have. Often.

It happens, folks. We are all human, with the finite fallibility that implies. We will fail, over and over again. That’s a depressing way to start a marriage article, but my point is this:

We all need to allow ourselves to be human. We are going to fail, but when we do, we don’t need to beat ourselves up. We don’t need to be angry at ourselves, or be dispirited, and by all means we must not quit. Bob Goff talks about this in his book, Love Does.

Failure is just part of the process, and it’s not just okay; it’s better than okay. God doesn’t want failure to shut us down. God didn’t make it a three strike and you’re out sort of thing. It’s more about how God helps us dust ourselves off and swing for the fences again. And all of this without keeping a meticulous record of our screw ups.

We need to accept that we are not perfect, even as we strive to follow Jesus’ examples of how to love. In all humility, when we fall short we need to realize how much we need God, that only in him can we begin to love as we ought.

"We need to accept that our spouses aren’t perfect, and strive to show them the grace and forgiveness that God gives us. If our brother is due forgiveness seventy times seven times, (Matthew 18:22) how much more so our spouses? Again, with humility we need to see our own failings when our spouses disappoint us, and realize that we need the same grace and forgiveness we are called to give."

God says in 2 Corinthians 12:9

My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.

Do we believe that? Do we truly grasp what that means? It means we are free. We don’t have to be perfect - which is a huge relief, since we can’t! We need only to rely on God, and seek him and his will, not just for our marriages but our lives. When we are deeply invested in his word and its implications for us, we can rest easy. Consider these verses:

For if their purpose or activity is of human origin, it will fail. - Acts 5:38
For no word from God will ever fail. - Luke 1:37

What are you relying on?

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