Saturday, April 30, 2011


Shared goals, dreams and fantasies can cement a relationship together like little else can; I'm talking about a couple having a collective vision for their future... things hoped for, things planned for, even "wouldn't-it-be-great-if" things that may never happen. When two become one flesh, all aspects of who they are should be shared. Communication, obviously, is key to this, as it is so many things that can strengthen a marriage. Set aside time every now and then when the two of you are alone to talk about dreams; things you want to do, places you want to see. Dream up and down the spectrum, from little projects around the house that would be cool, to restaurants it would be great to try, all the way up to sailboats, lake houses, once-in-a-lifetime vacations - even bedroom "adventures" that one or the other has always wanted to do. Write down your dreams and put them in a jar; once a week or so, each pull one out and discuss it. Together, make plans to accomplish little dreams, or spend time fantasizing about the big ones.

A particular dream may "belong" more to one spouse, and that's OK. When the other chooses to invest themselves in supporting their spouse, encouraging them and even helping to work towards realizing that dream, what an expression of love that is! Especially if it is the one unique dream that everyone has, that some would say is the reason God put each of us here.

All manner of dreams are important. It is when we dream at night that our brains and bodies recharge. Without dreams, over time we lose the ability to function at all. The dreams we have while we're awake allow our spirits to recharge - without them, functioning also diminishes. The big dreams are the "carrots on the stick" that keep us moving forward. The fact that they sometimes seem unobtainable is so we remember that we can't undertake them alone; we need our spouse's support - and of course God! The value of the little dreams lies in their obtainability though. Accomplishing them, checking them off the list can inspire hope and make us remember that

…with God, all things are possible. - Matthew 19:26

Sharing dreams is critically important. They give a glimpse into a person's heart and soul, and letting another person see what's there takes real trust. There is a vulnerability involved in sharing your dreams, and it is strong, healthy relationships that can support and nurture that honesty and openness. Share your dreams with your spouse, big and small... and encourage them to share theirs with you. Anything that helps you know each other better makes you both more able to love each other well.

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